There are two types of people during the holidays:
those who “cherish the spirit of the season”…
and those who crank up the amp, shotgun a peppermint mocha, and summon the Dark Lord of Discount Cheer himself.

This sweatshirt is for the second group.

Hail Santa is everything Christmas should be:
a jolly old man with unlimited surveillance capabilities, supernatural breaking-and-entering powers, and a list so judgmental it'd make the NSA blush. He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you unplugged the Elf on the Shelf, and he’s definitely judging your Amazon cart.

Throw this thing on and watch relatives try to decide whether to laugh, cry, or call a priest who charges overtime on holidays. It’s the perfect attire for:

• ugly sweater parties
• family gatherings you’re already dreading
• office events where HR desperately wishes they could fire you
• and Black Friday stampedes where only the wicked survive

Warm, soft, pre-shrunk, and metal as hell.
Wear it proudly.
Confuse the neighbors.
Upset the HOA.
Make Christmas loud again.

• 8.0 oz., 50/50 cotton/polyester
• Pre-shrunk
• Classic fit - sizes small to 5xl
• Reduced pilling and softer air-jet spun yarn
• 1x1 athletic rib knit collar, cuffs and waistband, with spandex
• Double-needle stitched collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs and waistband